Allow & Receive…This is 30

04- 30 - 2019

The love I want involves...

Lets forget.

Lets breathe.

This takes love.


05- 01 - 2019

Conversations about emotions can be overstimulating for a lot of people/men, but please believe I will not force you to grow and I will not hinder my growth. Being able to clearly speak about how I am feeling is overcoming a personal hurdle of mine and I love this new me.

I will not bury my emotions for the satisfaction of others.


05-10 -2019

Five fears that I have


Not finding love

Patterns won’t be broken

Dying before my daughter has a hold on life

Not living


Photographer: Ashley Johnson


Discipline would change my life. I would be a force if I had more.


05- 28 -2019

To love and express love is a gift of mine and I do it often. If I have chosen someone to be in my life they know this. If only I could give myself the same amount of love consistently.


05-29 - 2019

What is my greater good, I can’t wrap my head around what I am suppose to be doing. Will my greater good even happen because I feel that I am tied to so much sin.



I am alone.

I am the person who allows my thoughts to sometimes get the best of me.

I love her. She is me.



My core people give me security. They have chosen me to share life with and they consistently show up. Its beyond me that people have chosen me, such a good feeling.



Give yourself 7 compliments

I am a great leader because my focus isn't on me, but to build every individual so they can progress to my level or higher.

My smile is awesome, its very genuine and contagious.

I am a great mother because I am aware that she needs to be her own person and that I need to feed that.

Communicating my emotions.

Great creative eye.

My ability to compromise.

Soo good at listening.



Work sucks. Its ridiculous that I put so much effort into pacifying “their” ego. Playing the game is draining and has left me empty. I feel like I am missing something on this professional journey, what the fuck is it?


06- 03- 2019

In three days it will be my grandma’s bday. Its sooo weird like do I celebrate or do I just go about my day. How do I celebrate you even though you aren't physically here with me?


I am letting go and letting in the things that I want to see grow. Cheers to being 30.

These excerpts from my journal hopefully show you that I don't have it figured out, its a process. This process has shown me that there isn't a magical age that you will have it all figured out.

Photographer: Ashley Johnson