Friend, is that you?

Toot that thing up mommy make it roll, AYE!!! *no I don't dance*

It is getting closer to the weekend and even though I have my awesome child to hang out with I would like the option to hang out with some other dope ass people. You know that wonderful group of friends that every girl has acquired by now, yeah I don't have that.

Where the hell are my friends?!

Not acquaintances, those people you just say hi and bye to

or social friends, you know the ones who you only party with,

but where are my true friends. The friends you cry with or talk about real life issues.

I do have a best friend and one other girl that I know which was ok at one point, but now I crave the relationship that Joan (Tracce Ellis Ross) had with all her friends in the sitcom Girlfriends.

I would love to put the baby down for the night get dressed in something real fly and hit the town, just bar hop or diner.


Now don't get me wrong I have met other girls throughout college and even hung out with them, but the relationships didn't last. I haven't the slightest clue as to why they didn't and it started to hurt my feelings *yes I have feelings* but to mask that I just said "I am not for everybody." I relied on this phase because I didn't knowingly do anything to any of them.

Lol it is sooo funny because I thought this wouldn't bother me, but now I want adult conversation. Because of that I took a step back and started to evaluate myself and ask my questions in the current relationships. I made a list on the things that were hindering me to grow substantial relationships.

1. I honestly didn't and I currently don't make the effort

  • If you didn't fall into that circle or know somebody that I knew I wasn't really reaching out to you.

  • Currently I isolate myself because it takes effort and I'm working on me, so I don't feel a need to truly take on another persons issue.

2. If you didn't equally match me as friend I was over it.

  • Chick, I bleed you bleed. I figured that everyone had to equally care as much as I did about them. I learned that all your friends aren't meant to provide the same type of support.

3. I'm to blunt at times

  • That even though you may be telling the truth its the delivery that matters. Your audience is really important.

Like I know there are other things, and since I am aware it I like to ask my ONE friend or other family members but I haven't asked in a while. The last thing she told me was that I wasn't empathic which is sooo true and something I try to works guess.

Its just, how do you work on things when you have no friends? Do I make mom friends or does it matter when you have a child?